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How to Clean a Jute Rug

Jute [joot] – a vaguely natural fiber woven devil material that cannot, repeat, cannot be cleaned

Think our landlord will notice?

In just 21 easy steps:

  1. Move into a sublet for the summer so that you confuse your dog and she doesn’t know how to ask outside to go to the bathroom. Also this way you can lose money from your security deposit since the rug doesn’t belong to you.
  2. Look away for two seconds so that your dog can pee on the rug.
  3. Panic. The last time I tried to clean a jute rug, it just ended up looking worse than the stain itself.
  4. Do a spot check with color safe whitening Tide. It won’t appear to have any effect.
  5. Google! WikieHowFloorLady says to avoid getting the rug wet at all costs.
  6. Run to the other room to remove the damp towel sitting on the stain.
  7. Per WikiehHowFloorLady’s suggestions, pour baking soda on the stain to remove the moisture and odor. Let sit.
  8. Vacuum up baking soda.
  9. Why isn’t the $#%&*! baking soda coming up?? Dear god, it seems to have woven itself into the tiny fibers of the rug and is building a permanent settlement.
  10. Since you’re not in your own home, you only have one dish towel, which you already used to blot the pee, so you’ll have to use paper towels now. Scrape the paper towel across the rug to pull up the pioneering baking soda. Be sure to do this hard enough so that the paper towel produces delicate flakes that join the baking soda’s settlement and open a school and general store.

    The demon baking soda and paper towel flakes together in their frontier jute settlement.

  11. Attempt to scrape up the baking soda with a knife. It will not be intimidated out of its home.
  12. Try WikeeHowFloorLady’s last resort – mix white vinegar and water and blot on the stain. For an added Russian roulette level of excitement, try to determine which corner of your dish towel doesn’t have pee on it and use that.
  13. Hurrah! The fizzy vinegar is uprooting some of the baking soda settlers, forcing them to the suburbs. Unfortunately it doesn’t do anything for the stain.
  14. Use your hair dryer to soak up the moisture of the vinegar mixture. Use high heat so that you can realize in a few minutes that you might actually be setting the stain instead of drying it.
  15. Try the Tide again, but this time over the whole stain. Still nothing.
  16. Sprinkle baby powder, with a less heavy hand than you used for the baking soda. It’s less hearty, so maybe it will flee after soaking up the moisture.
  17. Vacuum up baby powder.
  18. Why isn’t the $#%&*! baby powder coming up?? Dear god, it seems to be so lightweight as to be untouchable.
  19. Glare at your dog while she gives you sad face.
  20. Get dressed. (You were doing all this in your pajamas, right? Because it’s how you started your day?) Realize the Anthropologie cardigan your mom bought you has a hole in it, like many of your other tops recently. Cry just a little. Who is doing this to you?

    I may have overreacted.

  21. Admit defeat. Go get a fountain drink.

Congratulations! You are a successful, graceful keeper of house.

Image credits:

Firetruck

Skulls

Toddler

Wife

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I write what I know (and love). Mostly higher education, writing and public relations.